I have this theory. It is a long theory that I could probably punch out 6000 words about, but I’ll quickly summarize my theory. Men are stuck in a nasty vice grip. We aren’t allowed to be emotional. We are limited to the things we can get excited about. When it comes to things we can cry about. There is just one thing that we can cry about without being mocked and teased by other men. That one little outlet we have to vent out all of our feelings is encumbassed in the manliest of all things. Sports. Think about it. Our estrogenized counter-parts can jump up and down, and hug one another for any reason, and just about anything can bring them to tears without the heckling. However, the only time men can do this is in sports, and only when the moment calls. Luckily, we get three weeks worth of bromance and man-love each March. All enveloped around March Madness. March Madness is the best sporting event because its emotional, its raw, its upsetting, its surprising, and its sports in it’s purest, more beautiful form.
Sixty-five teams. Twenty venues. One champion. With a handful of buzzer beaters, upsets, and cinderellas in between. In 2006, I was a witness. Adam Morrison had led the nation in scoring for the entire year. He was NBA bound. He was a star. He had a redunkulous cheesy moustache. He was very manly. But after his team let a 17 lead dwindle away, and let the UCLA score the last 11 points of the game, this man. Sat down on the court and tears crashed like free-falling airplanes. He yanked his jersey up over his eyes to hide his tears. He rolled on his side. He broke and no one teased him, and some men even cried with him, because for some reason can all relate. March Madness brings out all this emotion because its honest and real. These men put so much into their basketball game and for most of them, the only thing they can get in return is championship. Something that all 65 teams go after and only 1 will get. What’s more emotion then that?
Another reason you have to love the NCAA Basketball tournament is how raw it is. By raw, I mean personal and authentic. Throughout this entire year I had a friend who played on BYU’s basketball team. He has always been a bench guy, but occasionally he would come in. Well, this same BYU team went into the first round of the NCAA tournament and found themselves in trouble. My friend Michael Lloyd came off the bench and dominated the floor and was easily the most athletic guy in the building. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This same guy I saw play in highschool. This same guy who was in my group for prom. I beat this guy in tennis once, and got dunked on by him when we were in just 7th grade. Then here he is, doing it in the spot-light. That is just part of the intimacy felt in March Madness. The other part of it is that the guy who was named first team all-south region is in my sociology class. How many sporting events can you say, “hey, that guy is a whiz in socioeconomics. Trust me, I know.” And its personal when you lose. Even more personal.
Some of the greatest upsets of all time, David v. Goliath (600 BC), USA vs USSR (1980) throw in a couple of college football games, and the rest are all college basketball games. I could make a list longer then your 400 pound neighbor’s shopping list at Costco, but I’ll just list off the top-5 upsets from this years NCAA tournament:
-Northern Iowa (9) over Kansas (1): We’ll see the highlight of Ali Farokhamanesh draining that three pointer for years to come. It was something amazing to see. He catches the ball right at the 3-pt line and an entire epi-drama unfolds in front of our very eyes. He stands at the line and looks at the basket. His team was already in the lead and all that was expected of him was to let the clock tick away. When he looks at the basket, all the KU players on defense stopped. Farokhamanesh makes eye-contact and the showdown begins. The KU player says with his eyes, “I dare you to take that shot.” Farokhamanesh looks back at the basket and lets it fly. Everyone in the basketball loving world held their breath. “Did that just happen? Did we just see an Iraqi kid in a purple jersey put a nail in the coffin?”
-Butler (5) over everyone they played: I admit it ok. I thought this team was overrated all year. I picked them to even lose first round. Their most noteworthy upset was probably against Syracuse. Butler is a school that only has 3000 students. They beat schools like Syracuse, Kansas St, and Michigan state which have about 3000 kids in their graduating class. Their journey of pissing big schools and myself off ended in the National Title game where they came a quarter-inch away from making the basketball world explode.
-Ohio (14) over Georgetown (3): Georgetown was in the Big East final the week before. They have a legendary coach, an all-american center. They have the name! Georgetown is a legendary school. Most people couldn’t name a single player from Ohio’s roster, and they weren’t even the 2nd best team in Ohio.
-St. Mary’s (10) over Villanova (2): St Mary’s was just a goofy team. Half of their team was from Australia. They wouldn’t have even made the tournament except they won their conference tourney. Now I will be the first to admit that Nova was overrated, but they were the type of team you’d expect to do well in the tournament. A good coach, a backcourt led by All American Senior Scottie Reynolds. Not expected, and several brackets busted.
-Cornell (12) over Wisconsin (5): Ok, so Wisconsin might have some brains, and they definately have alot intelligent people on the team, but this is Cornell we are talking about. An Ivy League school. These are guys who picked brains or brawn. On their roster is a guy who knows 6 languages, and I bet all of them can solve a rubic’s cube in less then 3 minutes. What can be much cooler then that? Its like playing the chess club at your high-school, except this chess club has a seven footer.
In some of these upsets, we got it on that surprising shot or play. I already mentioned what happened in the Kansas and Northern Iowa game. I have said it before and I will say it again. THERE IS NO BIGGER OR EXCITING PLAY THEN A BUZZER BEATER. For the winning team it was flawless. Its like making out with Carrie Underwood. For the losing it team, its like watching your heart get ripped out in slow motion by the crazy witch-doctor in Indiana Jones. My team lost on a buzzer beater this year, but in most games, it doesn’t matter who you like. A buzzer beater is that epic. I have been trying to figure out the closest thing that compares to a buzzer beater during March Madness to real life and this is what I’ve got:
-Stealing an enemy’s girlfriend and then getting her to talk trash about him. (Win for you, loss for him)
-The only seat left in the airplane is next to Cameron Diaz. (Win)
-The only seat left in the airplane is next to Michael Moore. (Loss)
Those were the only things I could come up with, and those actually don’t compare at all to the bitter-sweetness of a buzzer beater. Point is this: Buzzer beaters are greatest things to see in sports.
I think that is what you would almost expect though out of sports in its purest sense. Now you may be asking yourself what I mean by purity. What I mean by this is that these kids play simply for the love of the game. No paychecks, no contracts, no endorsements. NBA Basketball is boring to watch until you get to April when they finally start playing and not mailing it in each night. Even people that don’t like sports will know what I mean when I say that college basketball players play for the love of the game. I think thats the biggest reason that we get all the emotion that I’ve already mentioned. A pro player loses, and he goes home, counts his money and calls a stripper. A college player loses, he goes home, has to study for his exams, and figure out what he is going to do with his life. College players don’t boast the same talent as NBA players, and I bet alot of them can’t even dunk. However, I’d much rather see guys I can relate to out there busting their butt up and down the court just cause they like it. Sports is about pride. I can’t think of any other reason why you would play it. March Madness is that vessel though. I’m going to miss March Madness but I know it’ll be back, for us to cry, be emotional, and jump up and down like little girls. But because its sports, no one can make fun of us.